SWEETNESS FOLLOWS

It's been around three weeks ago, I think, since my brother Clark and his wife Tiffani were contacted by a friend of a family member, about a girl she knew who was due to have a baby. This girl was planning to place the baby with an adoptive family, but the family she had chosen fell through, and were Clark and Tif interested in meeting her. They did meet with her along with other prospective couples. According to Tiffani, during these past few weeks she has had daily conversations with the birth mother and the decision had been reached that if the birth mom decided that adoption was what was best for her baby girl, Clark and Tif would be her choice. Last Friday was the big birth day! The weekend for Clark and Tif was spent primarily at the hospital with so many ups and downs and emotional unrest that I can't even imagine how difficult it has been. Birth mom went into labor still unsure of her decision. Then the birth father showed up at the hospital in violation of birth mom's instructions to the hospital staff, and in violation of the terms of his parole (as I understood it).

Tonight after three sleepless nights, many heartfelt talks and decisions, birth dad's arrest and trip to jail, new Baby Girl is on her way to her new home with mom and dad, big sis Tiani, and little, big brother Sam. All this family has asked for in the next couple of days is a lot of time to rest and sleep, and for a couple of days to just be by themselves together. I have not been able to talk to them directly, but got word from my dad. I am inclined to honor their request (even though I'm dying to see her) to have some space and privacy. As soon as they are up to visitors though, we will meet our new neice and cousin, and I will post some cute pictures of her. Oh, and I'm sure I will have a name to reveal! I do feel for the birth mom tonight too. I really believe that the choice so many young mothers make to let go of someone so connected to them, because they feel their baby will have a better life, is incredibly brave and selfless. Clark and Tiffani are great parents and they will give this new baby a wonderful life. I am so happy they were able to bring her home tonight. I know they are so grateful for the wonderful gift they've been given.

Congratulations you guys! We love you!

A SWEETER SISTER...

...I wonder if I could have? My memories of growing up as the oldest of seven are dominated by thoughts of babysitting mishaps, fighting brothers, and crowded bathrooms. With the exception of Clark, who is just a year my junior, my siblings are all a lot younger than I, which meant that I was more of a substitute parent (in other words enforcer) than a playmate or peer. During those years I really didn't get to know my younger siblings as people, they were just the little creeps I had to keep an eye on so that they didn't get into too much trouble when my parents were gone, or so that they didn't get into my stuff. I made them meals, cleaned up after them, fixed their hair, went to their recitals and sporting events, and even took them with me on dates! Once I left the house and started a life of my own, it was easier to start to appreciate them as individuals. It wasn't until I was looking back on things that I started to remember all the fun we had together as a big blended family, with all kinds of ethnicity and backgrounds. Yes, I still remember the struggles and the hardships, but I love to think of the funny things and the bonds we were developing to last a lifetime.

I'm especially grateful for my sister Kara. She is one of the sweetest people I know. I had two sisters while growing up, just a year apart in age. One was connected to me by blood, the other by heart. I still remember the night Kara came to our house, vividly in fact, and how frightened and sad she looked. She was 2 1/2 years old, she understood and spoke no English, and she had been given away by the only mother she had ever known, to come here to find a better life. The days and weeks that followed were so hard on her. She had terrible nightmares, bloody noses, she sneaked food and hid it around the house. She must have been so confused. We tried to love her with hugs and kisses that she refused. She was unable to bond to us or anyone for years, and never liked being coddled or hugged. In the beginning I couldn't see the wisdom in bringing home these extra siblings. They seemed very unhappy, and they made for a lot more work. Now, however, I see how rich and full their lives are. I see how they have grown and overcome their difficult beginnings, how they have become parents and companions. I am happy for them and for the opportunity my parents gave them to be a part of our family. When Jamie died, the blond haired, blue eyed sister who looked like me, a part of me went with her. It's different with sisters, the bond is just different. I don't know what I would do without Kara, without that sisterhood, it's never mattered that we don't look alike. I am proud of the person she has become, and of the great mom she is growing into. She has a giving heart, she's very obedient, she's a good example to me. Love ya sis!